Bigthink - Idea Comments Feed

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Tue, 06 May 2008 19:15:15 +0100

ro, Sounds very similar to the U.S. system, except we have major funding problems that vary state to state. In Ohio, things are quite the mess, and the school boards put up school "levies" each election to generate more income from property taxes, or more recently, income taxes. Property taxes were ruled unconstitutional, but yet they continue on. Public schools are in a constant struggle to keep financially afloat. Education suffers.

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Tue, 06 May 2008 00:53:05 +0100

Hi the pokoj.

I have limited knowledge about American high schools, (most of what I know comes from watching %u2018The Simpsons%u2019 and following the Kitzmiller v. Dover County case) but I will give it a try.

The American high school system seems to be much more decentralized than it is in Australia. In Australia local school boards have very little control over staffing and curriculum. Mostly they focus on fund raising for extra facilities above those provided by the State.

The Principal works for the State Education department. He and his teachers are paid by the state. Curriculum is largely set by the Education Department. While the local school can influence style and some content, and a great deal of effort is made to see that students across the system are getting the same standard and content in their education.

In Australia there are good schools and bad school. The difference is strongly correlated with the socio-economic environment in which you find them. On of the advantages of a centralized education system is that resources can be marshaled to help the problem schools and hopefully give the student a better chance. It doesnt always work. But they do try.

The interest feature of curriculum formation is the enormous influence of the universities. Because university education in Australia is relatively affordable (a standard degree can cost as little as A$15,000 %u2013 it was free when I went through), the limited number of positions are open to competition according to a students Tertiary Entrance Score. The measure of success for a high schools and private secondary colleges is how many of their students they can get into the universities. Consequently, senior teachers put a great deal of focus on the standard expected by the universities.

A non state school, like the Baptist run Carey College in Melbourne, would not consider teaching Intelligent Design because ID is has no credibility in the universities. They would regard teaching ID as disadvantaging their students competing for university science places. (Sorry to raise the subject of religion again! But it is a good example of the pervasiveness of the influence of the universities.)

How does this all impact on an individual students education?

I suspect that there are as many disaffected, disengaged students in Australia as there are in America. Being disaffected and disengaged is a part of being a teenager, or it was when I was 15.

Cheers.

RO

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Mon, 05 May 2008 14:32:28 +0100

I think the most important thing in your children's intelligence and development is that they didn't have to grow up dealing with the American education system...
But what are the differences between US and Australian schools?

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Sat, 03 May 2008 11:58:43 +0100

better... i didnt mean to sound like a dick... i just wanted to make sure you didnt sound like a overzealous and bigheaded parent.... i didnt really think you were but i had to check.... for the sake of the children ;)

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Sat, 03 May 2008 07:17:36 +0100

Hi there jesse,

Thanks for you comments. I dont expect you to give up interpreting every posting from a religious point of view, but you should understand that religion is not that important too me.

I am proud that they have adopted a scientific outlook on life, and that they have done so with little prompting from me.

That my kids might end up as atheists or at least indifferent to religion, is not so unusual. They live in Australia, which is a much more secular society that the United States. (The church attending portion of the Australian population is less that 10%.) My daughter has Christian friends at school. She tells me that the subject of religion rarely comes up in conversation. This is true for most of us.

My kids are not perfect.

They can be weird in ways I could wish otherwise. They both hate sport. Neither are interesting in playing musical instruments. (As a life long musician, I have found this very disappointing.) Neither are as gregarious and out going as I would like. They are occasionally thoughtless and inconsiderate.

I cant change these things, and Im not sure that I should try. There are some things they have to sort out for themselves.

By one comment you make, it seems you are under the mistaken impression that my kid are enjoying a privileged education. My kids go to the local public high school (rather that a private fee paying schools). I will concede that the high school is in a good suburb and that does make a difference.

On the subject of reading:

I have made little attempt to direct their reading apart from the books they receive from me as presents, and giving them access to my own collection. They read a mix of mainstream contemporary fiction, some history, philosophy and ancient classics (and almost certainly a lot of other material I am not aware off). Given the crisis in teenage literacy in this day and age, I am just pleased that they read anything at all.

I wouldnt say that either has a sophisticated understanding of the culture they live in. What teenagers do? At worst, they tend to over simplify issues. The fact that they are interested, if not well informed, is a good start.

Cheers,

RO

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:35:37 +0100

...has been make sure they had lots to read"

do they read anything other than the mainstream... do you introduce them to ageless classics like Eliot, do they see movies that were created with budgets of less than a million dollars... do they understand their culture or are they merely a part of it...

conformist children are the scariest thing in the world- not to say that yours are...just from what i ve seen in my own community- when a fun loving, innocent child becomes that opionated,hateful, propraganda spewing machine- that is scary...

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Fri, 02 May 2008 18:28:35 +0100

...so atheism is an achievment now?

Anyhoo not to sound to negative but your children will also be influenced by the what i would guess is fairly well paid for education they are recieving in an area of the city or state that you live in that mirrors themselves

many atheist love to point and say your only a christian because of where you were born-although i think this is an invalid argument against christianity- how would you answer to that- is your child only well-rounded and mature because that is what they were born into?

also i think a more interesting way to describe your kids would be to state their obvious shortcomings, followed by how they are differnt or unique from those around them such as peers and family, and then get into how they are able to package themselves into these semiautomous "young adults" whom you are proud of...

you see it is about how we overcome obstacles, not how perfect everything is...

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Thu, 01 May 2008 22:42:51 +0100

Hi there veralynns

Dealing with kids can be a bit like horse whispering. If you face them directly they turn away. All my best conversations are conducted %u2018in parallel%u2019 with no eye contact. When I tell them about the stupid things I did when I was 15, its delivered as a joke at my expense, rather than a cautionary tale.

Single parenting has its upside. You don%u2019t have to negotiate a joint strategy. Also your children can use the time tested %u2018divide and conquer%u2019 gambit.

Skeptic44

I think you are right. A major part of parenting is having your own act together. Our kids invariably replicate our worst behaviours.

RO

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Thu, 01 May 2008 19:20:44 +0100

it would seem that something like 70% of human behavior and personality is genetically inherited. However which directions you push those genetics is the remaning 30 %.

The best i would say is to teach by example. When you tell your kids to do or not do something thats one thing, but when they see you do it its very different.
Also ists best not to reward your kids extrinsically, if they like doing something let them do it, and praise but dont reward good behavior.

Of course im not a parent, so this is all theory. But i do still remember being a kid myself.

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Thu, 01 May 2008 15:18:41 +0100

Greetings! I am a single parent & my only child, a daughter, is also bright, talented and independant. Lucky me? I hope so. Each trait has a potentially negative and positive aspect, so I try to keep that in mind at all times & am still suffering from great pain due to biting my tongue repeatedly. As her main "authority" figure, it is all too easy for me to launch into one of those, "this is what happened to me" stories, foolishly presuming my past would be of interest to her, so I strive to learn to wait until I'm asked. Respect and consistancy in keeping the lines of communication open have been the greatest aids for both of us in maintaining our relationship, not only with each other, but also with friends. My daughter has triumphed over adversity and knows she will again, and that is key, in my opinion. She is aware that difficulties lie ahead and that she will somehow be alright. I am enormously proud of her and remind her of that as often as is practical. I also love and adore her and though she may be sick of hearing it, that gets communicated daily. She now stands at that precipice, ready to jump out into the world on her own. All I can do is close my eyes, hold my breath and wait. Oh, and one more thing; it's my turn again too. (That's almost as scary).

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Thu, 01 May 2008 06:45:41 +0100

HZ

Thank you for the kind thought.

SS

You survived the teen years, so they probably will too. The only suggestion I can make is to remember what it was like for yourself. Then you have to 'love and let go'. Boy, is that hard to do.

Good luck.

RO

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Thu, 01 May 2008 04:06:10 +0100

roakes, You got my attention right away with your no-nonsense style on religion. The more I read from you, the more I respected you. I think you have well-adjusted kids because YOU are well-adjusted and command respect by being approachable, down to earth and leading by example.

My kids are 10 and 7. I can only hope for what you have, and I dread the teenage years. I never really know what to expect next and I can feel ten different ways at once. They're basically good kids just trying to please us, but the hormones and the learning curve really tests us sometimes. At least they're intelligent, and we're glad for that.

Only a parent knows how difficult it is to raise respectable children that will become good people as adults. I look at it as the most important thing I can ever do in my life, and go from there. Can't think of a good war story at present, but I will try to get back to post if I do.

You should be proud, you deserve to feel like a hero, you are one. We all are.

Comment on: What makes a good parent?

Bigthink — Thu, 01 May 2008 02:28:50 +0100

A good childhood?

The golden rule?

Patience and understanding?

But don't kid yourself Mr. Oakes, their is no way to remove your influence from your children's life. You are the living example they choose to imitate or reject.

Love and Peace to you and your family