Comment on: Social anxiety

Bigthink — Sun, 18 May 2008 20:03:57 +0100

Something I tell my anxious design students when preparing for a presentation, is "try to remember that most people are too self absorbed with what others are thinking about them to be thinking much at all about you".

Excessive concern about what others are thinking about you begs the question ... "What are you thinking about them?" Are you harshly judgmental of others? Probably not... so why assume others will be of you? Of course, there will be people who will unjustly think poorly of others but these people are often the most insecure themselves.

Focusing your energy on others in a way that is concerned with their enjoyment of the moment and their well being can help move you out of your own insecurities.

In addition to the excellent suggestion of breathing exercises, practice listening to the stream of thoughts that we think so constantly that they become almost the white noise of the mind. This underlying thought process is often laden with negativity about one's self. When you think these thoughts, make it a practice of turning it into a relevant positive thought. "I can't speak to people" becomes "I am comfortable speaking to people". Do this often enough and you can transform the habit of negative self talk into a positive internal monologue.

Most of the suggestions you will come across in response to this question will sound simple enough ... putting them into practice takes time, patience, and kindness with oneself.

Comment on: Social anxiety

Bigthink — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 08:11:22 +0100

Mellie.

You have posed a very important question.

Try yoga. I have been doing the breathing exercises for 30 years an at times of stress it helps to slow the rush thoughts.

Make a list of all the things you are good at and refer to it constantly.

I know its easy to say and not so easy to do but: Stop caring too much about what other people think and say. It almost never matters.

RO

Comment on: Social anxiety

Bigthink — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 20:01:12 +0100

My guess would be to find your niche in society. Concentrate on immersion in activities which require interaction with different people in public every chance you get. That's what works for me.

Bigthink - Idea Comments Feed

Comment on: Social anxiety

Comment on: Social anxiety

Comment on: Social anxiety