Transcript: Oh that’s good.  I mean I . . . I . . .  I’m not . . . What would I do if I were Bill Gates, you know?  And I’m . . . I don’t . . . I’m not . . . I don’t know if he does enough.  You know if you really have that sort of infinite amount of money, I . . . I think I would build schools.  I think . . . I think . . . I think . . . I think you know my . . . my educational solution is . . . is . . . is a nice school, and every teacher should get $100,000 a year minimum.  And I think you’d get a lot of people who would teach.  You know I think there are a lot of smart people who are most comfortable in a school environment.  But if they thought, “Well I could make a good living doing this,” that’s what they would do.  That would be the first thing I would do is . . . is fund schools.  I’m . . . I’m sure I could   . . .  I’d give every teacher $200,000 salary a year and see what happens.  After that, you know, feeding people.  I also like dogs, so dog shelters.  You know, I’ve also thought like, you know, you have that kind of money, you could sort of make . . .  You could pay to make sort of picture-perfect, pornographic sort of versions of Disney cartoons would be funny, you know.  Or like . . . like a parody of Mad magazine circa 1977.  Like a fake issue, and that would look exactly like the real Mad magazine.  And you would weather it or whatever and just print up 1,000 copies.  And then just sort of sell them around bookstores around the country.  And it would just kind of blow people’s mind.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Transcript: This isn’t the fall of Rome.  I hope it’s not the . . .  The historians aren’t going to say, “How could they have been so selfish, so self-serving?”  I suspect . . . I suspect we will be seen as selfish.  It’s . . .  We are so gluttonous in a way.  It doesn’t look good, especially, God forbid in a future era where people aren’t . . . can’t take showers every morning, you know?  And we’ll be seen as pigs.  But I hope not.  I hope we . . . we make it so that everyone can have a hot shower every morning, and a good breakfast, and a good school.  And then they’ll think of us as proud forebearers.  You know I  . . .  I . . .  We . . . I  . . . I don’t think they’re going to think of us like we think of the founding fathers of this country as sort of people who really put themselves on the line, and fought, and you know earned these rights, and you know, talked late in the night about big ideas.  They’re not gonna think of us like that.  You know, and it’s our fault.  We’re the . . . We’re the indulgent grand . . .  We’re the indulged grandchildren.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Transcript:  The war seems like an obvious choice.  I . . . I . . . In this country, I . . . and actually in the world, I don’t see how there can be any other real issue until it’s resolved.  You know, until we’ve won, or until the war is over, that’s our only issue.  There are . . . how best to win; how best to, you know, not just for us but for the world, you know.  But what do we have to do?  That’s . . . because people are dying every day because of this.  I think there are . . .  Second to that I’d say education in . . . in   . . . in a way for a similar reason because . . .  And it’s not going . . .  That’s not gonna be the second most important thing, but . . . but every day people are kind of dying because of our school system too.  That’s one of the things that aggravates me is everybody always talks about and complains about the problems with our school system.  And you know we do this and that, but nothing ever changes.  And nothing changes into sort of . . .  Right now, kids are in crappy schools, and nothing is gonna, you know . . . that’s not gonna change.  And . . . and that’s . . .  That’s like, as crazy as it is, I actually . . . I feel like let’s just do school __________ . . .  Let’s do something for like a mother who wants to send her kid to a good Catholic school.  You know let’s just let her do it right now until something better comes along.  Just . . .  It’s just so frustrating to me to think of all the kids in the shitty schools right now.  Yeah.  But the war, that’s gotta be it. Hopefully the war will be over by 2008, you know?  And we’ll be able to concentrate on other things.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Transcript:  Our biggest challenge . . .  We have so many challenges.  It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s all the people.  It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s so many people with so many things they care so passionately about.  And it’s . . .  I think we have a lot . . .  People expect us to make a transition from a . . . a . . . a very . . . of a sort of patchwork quilt world where, you know, people in Asia, and people in North America, and people in Europe all have these very distinct cultures, and beliefs, and religions.  And . . . and now because of how immediate the world is, and we are all in contact with each other, we’re somehow supposed to make these very different machines function together – you know these very different pieces of clockwork go together.  They’re not going to fit.  And also . . .  You know and it’s not just the different cultures.  It’s the cultures of . . . of, you know, the Bible that I revere – sort of this ancient religion – and then a modern world where, you know, there are . . . we somehow expect to be able to fit very old, cranky ideas into . . . into new modern, sleek packaging . . . into . . . into progressive, egalitarian  molds.  And they’re not going to fit, you know?  And I think . . .  One of the things I could say with religion, you have to go, “Okay well that’s crappy, but that’s part of it,” you know.  But you know I don’t know why I can’t eat bacon.  You know that’s it, you know?  And then there   . . . there are I, I think, much more ludicrous things with any religion too.  But I think the . . . the biggest problem is we’re somehow expecting . . .  The progressives among us, you know, expect us to make this great leap into a . . . a space-age where, you know, everyone is tolerant and this and that, and this and that; but we’ve got so much – I would call it baggage – of our previous cultures with us.  But I would call it baggage, but I think a lot of it’s really good.  That’s not going to get on that spaceship with us.  You know that’s gonna keep the spaceship grounded.  I . . . I . . . I . . . I don’t know how we’re going to make it all fit.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Transcript: I sometimes feel like rooting for any political cause is, in a way, like rooting for a football team.  You have about as much affect on it, and whoever wins has about as much affect on the . . . whatever happens in the world, or at least in this country.  That’s strictly me speaking for me.  It may be I don’t always feel that way.  I . . . the . . .  The things that bother me about, say, the world today and . . . and politics today . . . and I . . . I can’t . . .  Maybe I would have thought the same 50 years ago.  I mean everybody thinks their age is the worst.  But I . . .  I hate being lied to, and I hate . . .  I feel like there are so many cheap lies being thrown at us.  I think we are being . . .  I hate being treated like an idiot, and you know our government treats us like an idiot.  It treats us like a child.  And I . . .  I’m not saying, oh, this . . . this administration either.  I . . . I will never forgive Bill Clinton for lying to me.  He . . .  He took me for a chump.  He said, “I didn’t sleep . . .”  Just say you fucked . . .  Just say it.  But he really . . . okay he said it.  He said that sincerely.  Alright, I believe you.  Oh, you know, screw you.  He . . . he really . . . he lied to all of us.  And it . . . it’s like it’s not a big deal.  Yeah, it’s a big deal.  He really . . .  He took us all for chumps.  He thought, “Oh, I can lie to these people.”  And you know you don’t just do that once.  You do it in every occasion you can.  I hate being lied to.  I hate being . . . and . . .  And I think . . .  I think that’s related to the problem of the government treating us like we’re children.  And which, you know, I think they think we’re stupid.  And I think they think we’re children.  And I think we act like we’re children, you know, because we let them do that, you know?  It’s a give and take sort of thing.  But you know the more they treat us like children, the more we act like it, and the more they take away from us.  You know I’m an absolute, you know, freedom of this, freedom of that guy.  I’m . . . I’m very pro-gun.  You know I’m pro-school choice.  I’m crazy, you know?  But I just . . . I . . .  I think we need to be treated like adults.  I think we . . .  Americans, you know, we have these hard won liberties, and we really just sort of have to cling to them every chance we can get.  Because you know, they never get rid of laws.  Every law they write basically gets stuck on the books forever, and they all infringe on our rights in some way.  I mean I think in some ways we have to . . . it’s sort of our duty to fight every law that gets put on the books.  Yeah.  It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s hard not to feel a little trapped by if people lying to . . .  It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s almost . . . it’s also like you don’t feel like necessarily they’re doing it in your . . . your self-interest.  They’re . . . No it’s . . .  Okay.  Your mother drives you crazy when she, you know, tells you to tuck your shirt in, but you know she’s doing it because she loves you.  When our government tells me to tuck my shirt in, I don’t know why they’re doing it.  You know I think they’re just doing it to be bossy.  So that’s how I feel.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Transcript:  I have a horrible cartoon I want to make.  There’s the people standing in line at St. Peter’s gate to go to heaven.  And you know the rich men, the poor widows, and St. Peter’s asking them, “How much money did you make?” And that . . . and then the poor people are going to hell.  See that’s my horrible cartoon.  You know and that’s like . . . should not be the measure of a good life.  My . . .  I think . . .  I think it’s being true to your . . .  I . . .  I really think it’s being true to your family and friends; to whatever world you’ve created around yourself – the real world with who are the people you care about.  It’s not . . .  I don’t think . . .  I think you can try to make the world a better place, but I think too many people I see doing that become, you know, Mrs. __________.  And they just . . .  They throw themselves into that and screw over the people who are actually around them.  I think causes are nice, but I your greatest cause needs to be your immediate circle.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question:  Religion in a Modern World

Transcript: I mean I’m terribly conflicted.  I mean awfully . . .  You know I . . .  In a way I can’t help but believe in God despite all the evidence to the contrary, which makes me very angry at God.  And so I . . .  I’m . . .  In a way I’m always fighting it.  But you know, and again, 200 years ago it would be very easy to be a religious person, and to live my whole life, and that was that.  And it . . . and it   . . . and it . . . I think it would be blissful.  I think it’s much harder for all of us to live today.  You know the world is too much with us.  That said, I . . .  You know I don’t say “that said” as much as I say it . . . as I said it in the past half hour.  I’m saying it “that said”, I . . . I think if there is a God, I think He’d be rather forgiving of anyone’s lack of faith right now.  It’s, you know, much easier to believe in God when you believe the sun goes around the earth, and we’re . . . it’s flat, and you know that the Bible is literal historical truth.  It becomes . . .  When you know those things aren’t necessarily the case, it becomes harder to believe.  It may be God chose us now, to live now because our faith deserves to be tested a little bit more.  I don’t know.  I think that’s bullshit.  But I . . . You know I think God is probably charitable enough to go, “Well you didn’t believe.  Why should you?”

Question: Why do you persist in believing?

Transcript: I can’t help myself.  I think atheism’s really easy.  I think it’s very easy not to believe in God.  I think all that evidence in front of you, I think it’s . . .  And so . . .  I think it’s a little cheap, I guess, for that reason.  I think I guess I didn’t come here with the defense of . . . of belief, you know, in my back pocket.  Maybe . . . maybe it’s sheer perversity.  You know maybe I believe in God because it seems so obvious He doesn’t exist.  And also I want an old school, but I don’t want some sort of artsy fartsy, “We’re all love, we’re all part of God” blobbety boobety.  You know I want an Old Testament God.  I want a God throwing thunderbolts.  And I want . . .  I want punishment.  I want my . . . I . . .  I see no problem with an eye for an eye.  I really don’t.  Like that’s all cool, you know?  I don’t want tree spirits or anything, or . . . or . . . or mother goddesses, or you know.  Forget it.  What’s the point of that?

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question:  Do you have a creative process?

Transcript: It’s just . . .  It’s just sitting down and writing.  That’s my creative process.  I like, you know . . .  Sitting around and making jokes with people is nice too, but you know it . . . it’s . . . when you’re . . . when you are . . .  When you’re a writer and you’re working, you are . . . it’s . . . you’re not really an artist.  You’re a craftsman.  You know you sit down at your table, and you do your eight hours and you’re out.  And it’s great, and hopefully you’ve done something wonderful.  But when you’re not feeling funny, you still have to write something funny.  So that’s really my process.  I’ve . . .  I’ve got a nice chair that a like, and a computer that I’ve set up exactly like I like it, and have a lot of coffee.  And I quit smoking, but I used to, you know, smoke a lot of cigarettes.  And I just sort of . . . you just crank through it. 

Question: Is it hard to be funny on deadline?

Transcript:  You get used to it.  It’s really . . .  You’re just . . . It’s just a job.  You know it’s . . . Is it hard to get all the chocolates in the box on deadline?  That’s just what you do.

Question: Where do you look for inspiration?

Transcript: I have favorite . . . I . . . I certainly was a fan of Mad magazine growing up, especially the Mad comics – the Harvey Kurtzman ones before it became a magazine.  Like you know I had the little re-print digest of those when I was a kid.  And I didn’t know what they were, the history or whatever; but they were so funny and weird.  And I . . . I would say of anything, like those were my biggest, say, comedic influences.  I’d . . . I’d reread those stories over and over again and . . . and sort of scour the background jokes – all the crazy background jokes.  I . . .  You know, I think Animal House is a nearly perfect movie.  It has an incredibly . . . it . . .  It’s like 98 percent of its jokes are successful, you know what I mean?  It’s a perfectly pleasant movie to watch, and with a lot of funny jokes. My family is really not that funny.  My family doesn’t really write.  As a matter of fact, my mother always . . .  Her advice to me as a child was, “Never put anything in writing,” which was strange; but . . .  Now there’s no one . . .  There was no, you know, kooky uncle who inspired me

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question: Where do you look for inspiration?

Transcript: I have favorite . . . I . . . I certainly was a fan of Mad magazine growing up, especially the Mad comics – the Harvey Kurtzman ones before it became a magazine.  Like you know I had the little re-print digest of those when I was a kid.  And I didn’t know what they were, the history or whatever; but they were so funny and weird.  And I . . . I would say of anything, like those were my biggest, say, comedic influences.  I’d . . . I’d reread those stories over and over again and . . . and sort of scour the background jokes – all the crazy background jokes.  I . . .  You know, I think Animal House is a nearly perfect movie.  It has an incredibly . . . it . . .  It’s like 98 percent of its jokes are successful, you know what I mean?  It’s a perfectly pleasant movie to watch, and with a lot of funny jokes. My family is really not that funny.  My family doesn’t really write.  As a matter of fact, my mother always . . .  Her advice to me as a child was, “Never put anything in writing,” which was strange; but . . .  Now there’s no one . . .  There was no, you know, kooky uncle who inspired me.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question: Is your writing for “The Daily Show” social criticism?

Transcript: I’m not a social critic, I think, in my role at the show.  I mean I . . . I . . .  You know yeah I make jokes, and I funnel jokes to Jon.  I think Jon’s a social critic, but I think he’d be the one to say he’s just a comedian, too.  I . . .  I . . .  I . . .  Again I’m an enabler, so it’s not so much my criticisms coming through as . . . as me helping someone else get theirs across.  Again, you know, it . . . everyone is a social critic.  It’s nice.  I’ve got a bit of a soapbox.  I can certainly, you know, get some of my points across, which is nice.  I don’t know what those points are though.  My points tend to all be, you know, what an ugly tie.  Or you know, I can’t believe she said that.  Not . . . not . . . just dumb jokes. 

Question: Why do so many young people get their news from “The Daily Show”?

Transcript: I don’t know.  It . . .  I think it’s . . .  I think it’s a lot more fun to watch than a regular news program.  The commercials are probably more exciting, and Jon is very engaging.  You know he . . .  He sort of gives probity, but also levity.  You know it’s . . . it’s . . . it’s a lot more fun to watch than regular news.

Question: Does “The Daily Show” contribute to their political apathy?

Transcript: I certainly don’t wanna think that.  I think . . .  I . . .  I think if . . . if . . . if we do contribute to that at all, it is in the one percent range.  And I think the . . . the great contributor to the cynicism and apathy of young people, if indeed it is greater than it was . . . ever was is, you know, how fucked up the politicians are acting at the moment.  I mean it’s . . .  You could say, “Oh I can’t  . . .” that . . . that us poking fun at them would make people cynical.  But they’re really doing some crazy stuff, you know, every day.  It’s not . . .  You . . .  You wouldn’t need us to point the finger in order to laugh.  I mean they’re . . .  Crazy, horrible, you know sold-deadening things are being done by our government every day, and the government of every other nation.  You know it’s  . . . it’s . . . it’s . . . it’s . . .  These are really, you know, sadly interesting times.  And I think it’s very easy for anyone to become apathetic.

Question: How does comedy play into this?

Transcript: Comedy allows . . .  Looking at the situation through a comic lens gives a creative end to anger, you know?  And you know, it makes . . . it makes these untenable situations okay.  It makes you . . . it makes them livable.  You know you can have these psychotic things around you.  And as long as you can laugh at them, they’re okay.  That’s it.  I don’t think it’s that important.  I think you can also not laugh at these psychotic things and just trudge ahead and be fine.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question:  The Craft of Writing

Transcript: I’m Co-Executive Producer of the “Daily Show” with Jon Stewart.  And I’m basically an enabler for Jon.  You know he’s . . .  Jon, in a way, doesn’t really need anybody else.  But you know there are a few of us who are there to kind of help out.  So I . . . I write material for him.  I help shape material that other people write for him.  I, you know . . .  We sit around and we come up with what’s going to be on the show and this and that – me, him and a few other people.  That’s . . . I . . . I . . . I think enabling is . . . is . . . is . . . is the proper verb.  I’m Jon’s wing man, but he’s got a couple. 

Question: What was it like to go from writing for cartoons to writing for people?

Transcript: It’s a lot more exciting to write for people.  It’s a lot more immediate.  The . . .  One of . . .  You know it can be very boring writing for cartoons because it basically takes . . . you write it and then a year later you see it.  With . . . with . . . especially at the “Daily Show”, you’re putting on a daily show.  It’s really that old show business, “let’s put on a show”, and you’re cranking it out that night.  And if it’s good, great.  But if it’s not, you’re doing another one the next night.  And it’s kind of . . .  When you’re at a place like the Simpsons or something, you can sometimes forget, “Oh, that’s what I got into show business for.”  Because I like to, you know, entertain and put stuff out there in front of an audience.  I much prefer people.

Question: How do you write something for others bring it to life?

Transcript: It takes a certain amount of trust.  And it depends on who you’re writing it for.  There’s some people who you write . . . like for Jon Stewart or Phil Hartman or something where you write it and you know they’re going to make it better, and . . . and that’s a pleasure.  And there are other people who aren’t going to make it better or who don’t see the joke.  And I think when you’re a younger writer, that’s a bit more frustrating.  Or . . . or it’s a bit harder to let go of the joke like that.  And you’ve gotta sort of have write . . . written a million jokes and thrown out, you know, half a million jokes; and seen the other half butchered, you know, before you can just really not care.  It . . .  It’s . . .  You care, but you’re a . . .  You are . . .  It’s a job.  You crank these things out, and if it doesn’t go over well, you’ll just do another.

Question: What is the joy in what you do?

Transcript: It’s . . . it’s putting on a show.  It’s really . . . it’s writing something.  It’s, you know, all the stress.  It’s kind of like a newsroom, and it’s running around.  And you put on the show, and there’s an audience there, and they’re laughing, and then you’re done.  You know and it’s really . . .  And then you go at it again.  It’s like . . .  It’s like working at the circus.  You know, like how fun is that?

Question: What does it feel like when the show is over?

Transcript:     Such a relief.  You know it’s . . . it’s not as stressful as you’d think because you get used to the . . . the rhythm.  And it . . . it’s a tremendous relief.  That said, you’re always doing another show the next day.  So you can’t be that relieved.  And one of the things . . .  You know like we’ll get a week off here and there, two weeks off here and there.  And I kind of find it hard to really enjoy those vacations in a way, because I know I’m gonna have to come back.  There’s no . . .  You know it never ends.  It’s . . .  It is a perpetual motion machine.

Question: What is the struggle in what you do?

Transcript:     There is . . . they’re staying current, obviously.  There’s wanting to make sure we are up-to-date on everything.  But there’s also not wanting to . . . to replicate anything that’s been on another show.  And then there’s always . . .  You know we’re not a real news show.  We’re not . . . We’re 99 percent a comedy show, but not strictly a comedy show.  So . . . but we look at the news, and so a lot of it is going, “Okay.  Well here’s a funny thing from the news, but how do we examine . . .”  How do we . . .  Instead of just taking a joke from something about the news and make a new joke of it, how do we examine how the other people in the news are covering it?  You know it . . . it . . . it becomes this whole meta game of . . . it’s . . . it’s not about us making a joke about something the President said.  It’s us making a joke about how CNN covered what the President said.  It . . .  It . . .  I think the hardest part might be that, you know, producing a half an hour of material every night is making something new every night.  It’s not repeating ourselves.

Question: How do you get past writer’s block?

Transcript:     That’s a good question.  I mean yeah.  I can say I’m a craftsman; but then again you indulge in block.  I mean that’s just an indulgence.  You really just have to . . . to push through that.  I don’t know.  I’ll go walk the dog.  I used to have a cigarette.  I can’t do that anymore, so I’ll drink more coffee.  I’ll curse myself.  You know, just start typing something, anything, and you generally get through it.  I . . . I . . . I . . . Blocks are generally just laziness.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question: Why has the Lampoon created so many great writers?

Transcript: The Lampoon . . .  You know I . . . I don’t . . .  I think that obviously goes in ways . . .  The writers it’s creating right now, I think they’re all good.  It’s . . . it’s just a . . .  Look you’re at Harvard, so, you know, you’ve got sort of a pretty good pool to choose from.  And it’s got this nice building and a sort of sweet setup, so it becomes very attractive.  And then it’s got this history.  So you know it became very easy to attract sort of talented writers.  And then you know when you’re there, you sort of wanna live up to the people that have been there before. I mean that said actually putting out the magazine are not really always that funny.  But the . . . there is a competitive nature with the, you know, people on the magazine itself where you’re always sort of trying to better each other and one-up each other.  So you know it’s all those rams butting their heads eventually makes you stronger.

Question: Did you join as soon as you got to Harvard?

Transcript:  In my freshman year, yeah.  Yeah.  I hadn’t heard of it before I got there.  And then I remember walking around the campus and seeing this really cool building.  And I was like, “Oh, I have to . . . I have to go in there.”  And it turned out that it was the Lampoon.  So . . .

Question: What was your first Lampoon experience like?

Transcript: You know my . . . my first . . .  You know they invite you in to see if you wanna compete to join.  And they give you beer, and that was nice.  So you just sit around drinking beer while they tell you stuff.  And then sort of every event after that was a social opportunity with drinking cocktails or beer, and getting your writing critiqued.  And it was all good.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question: Are people fundamentally funny?

Transcript: You know religiously I wanna believe people are fundamentally good. Yeah I think people . . . (a) I think people are fundamentally good; and (b) I think people are fundamentally humorous. And . . . and people fundamentally want to laugh. And you know if someone is not laughing, that’s the exception. That’s perversion, because I think you can’t be turned from someone who likes to laugh to someone who doesn’t; but I think it’s almost impossible to go the other way. I don’t think . . . No one’s ever met a humorless person who became a funny one.

Question: Can humor be learned? 

Transcript: No. It . . . it . . . You can learn the forms or whatever, and maybe you could even learn the form so well that you can fool most people. But you wouldn’t be able to fool the genuinely funny people.

Question: Can women be funny? 

Transcript: Of course.

Question: Why do people value humor? 

Transcript: Boredom, you know? And I think also just the . . . There’s such intense psychic pain just being alive, and all this stuff going on around you and on top of you. And it’s suffocating. You know humor is a release. It is joyful, you know? It’s like sex, but you can have it more often. It’s . . . Yeah, it’s like cheap sex. It’s like . . . You can do it all the time

Question: Is there a connection between humor and religion? 

Transcript: You know I don’t know. It’s sort of cliché to have a funny rabbi. You know every rabbi thinks he’s pretty hilarious, or at least they do nowadays. In the . . . in the . . . in the old days, I think they . . . they thought they . . . they were pretty serious. You know I don’t know. I could wax philosophical and say, “Well there is, you know . . . comedy and religion are about some sort of aspiration or something higher,” or you know, “to elevate us. And when we laugh,” you know, “our souls become bigger.” But I don’t think so. I think . . . I think rabbis are smart people, and I think smart people tend to be funny. So maybe that’s the connection. By the way I should have been drinking coffee. But I don’t . . . If there’s any connection whatsoever . . . You know I think there must be some connection between religion and comedy because while . . . because the people I know in comedy are either pretty religious or – and that’s the minority – or they’re . . . they swing the other way completely and are rabidly atheistic. So maybe there’s some emotional switch that gets clicked on either way.

Question: How has comedy changed in the last two decades? 

Transcript: That’s a good question. Comedy is a lot more self-aware. I mean _________ audience is a lot more self-aware. You know when I . . . You’re not just making jokes necessarily anymore. You’re making jokes on jokes. And your jokes have reference to other jokes. And it might have been in the old days, only other people in the comedy business would know these things; but now everyone’s . . . We’ve got such a vast cultural backlog on DVD and everything that everyone knows every Monty Python sketch. And everyone knows this and that; that we’re all kind of . . . we and the audience are making references to . . . and winking at them from things that are 40 years old. And that’s it. And comedy probably hasn’t changed as much as we think it has either. I mean that’s . . . that . . . that . . . I can say, “Okay, we all have that reference point,” but it’s probably in a small way not that big a deal. And . . . and . . . That’s a good question, because I would say we still laugh at slapstick, but we don’t as much. It would be very hard for, you know . . . to get away with something that’s like as primitive as like an early ‘60s, Jerry Lewis movie right now. You just . . . You know even the kids aren’t laughing at that anymore. I mean you got Mr. Bean. And that’s nice, and that’s nice slapstick; but it sometimes seems more sophisticated. But that . . . that . . . that might just be because of more of modern style. If you lived in a village and you didn’t have TV, and a clown came through you thought that was the funniest damn thing you’d ever seen in your life. You know if he fell on his butt? Amazing. If you got, you know, eight hours of TV everyday and you could see amazing . . . you know you could see Marcel Marceau, and you could see Lenny Bruce, and you could see whatever whatever. The exposure makes you more of a critic, you know? If you’ve only eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwiches all your life, you think those are pretty great. But you know once you’ve tasted caviar, forget about peanut butter.

Question: Where is comedy headed? 

Transcript: I don’t know. There’s a . . . There’s an awful lot of it being produced. I think what we’re doing now, you know, is an area where we’re going to see a lot of comedy produced just in smaller . . . just with the Internet, sort of the powers given to people just to produce things. I mean we’re going to see things on YouTube. You know we’re going to see people have a funny idea and shoot it on their TV camera and get it out there that afternoon. But people are always also gonna wanna see bigger, you know, more expensive things. And they’re always gonna wanna see sitcoms, I think; or big, funny movies. You wanna see something nice, you know. It’s like okay, YouTube. That was a funny video that guy made, but I . . . I want a . . . I want a compelling story, too. You know people like stories. We’ve always liked stories. So I . . . I . . . I don’t . . . I don’t think comedy is gonna change. Okay here. I don’t think the form comedy takes is going be all that different in the future. Now you know I . . . I don’t know which way the world is gonna go; but if the world gets darker, then the comedy will probably become more darker or become more violent. We might be seeing some of that now.

Question: Whose work are you watching most closely? 

Transcript: You know I don’t . . . I tend not to watch any comedy. Otherwise it would be my whole life. And also you know, it’s so critical . . . It’s impossible just to watch anything and enjoy it, you know. So I . . . I tend to keep away from it as much as possible.

Question: How is technology changing comedy? 

Transcript: I think it’s changing it for . . . It’s changing it. There’s really no telling. Yeah it’s better. It’s . . . It’s . . . It’s nice to be able to have a DVD of funny stuff. And you know it’s nice to be able to go on YouTube and watch these funny guys. But you know I saw these funny guys doing a David Blaine impression the other day. That was funny. You know I got to watch that and now I don’t have to see it anymore. But it’s . . . it’s . . . it’s out there. That R. Kelly trapped in the closet. Like that’s all great stuff, and it’s there. And so that’s all for the good. As a, you know . . . This isn’t strictly about computers, but you know as a . . . as a visual agent, you know, written comedy is being non-existent. You know there’s . . . there’s a couple of pages in the front of the New Yorker and that’s really it. So that’s kinda sad. But you know there’s plenty to read if you want to.

Question: Is ethnic humor ever out of bounds? 

Transcript: I can certainly make fun of my people, and others can too. I mean it . . . it’s . . . I feel like I’m . . . not I’m, but I think as a Jew it’s sort of a specific case, because there are a lot of Jewish writers. And we tend to go to the Jew well a lot in comedy. And to be honest it’s really easy, and I don’t love that. I think it’s a little too easy. You know ethnically, I think I find a lot of comedy writers are Jewish and a lot are Irish. I’m not sure why those two streams sort of came together, but you know it’s a . . . we tend to get along, so it’s nice. Can . . . I think some Jewish jokes are very funny, and I think others are, you know, are just . . . are just as . . . just saying the word “Jew” and expecting a laugh. You know and . . . and that’s easy. As far as other ethnicities go, I don’t feel like anything should be out of bounds, you know? I just . . . You know I’m stridently, you know, First Amendment . . . certainly Second Amendment, too. But I like all those amendments, you know? And then again . . . But that said, if you say something offensive, you know, you can expect to get your ass kicked. You should have the right to say it, though.

Question: Do you self-sensor? 

Transcript: I think everyone self-sensors. I mean you think awful things. I’m sure you’re thinking awful things right now; but you know we all think terrible, terrible, terrible things. So sometimes the terrible things I think of are jokes. And so I don’t always say those out loud. I’m actually . . . I probably self-sensor a lot less than a lot of people. And I’ve certainly said some terrible things which I regret, but that’s okay.

Question: Has it become easier to self-censor with time? 

Transcript: I . . . You know I can’t say I think about . . . You know I would ask you . . . Or I’d ask anyone is it easier for them to self-sensor? Sometimes . . . You know do you walk around saying, “I’m censoring myself right now?” No. But you aren’t telling to every beautiful woman how much you’d like to have sex with her, or every attractive man the same thing if you find both of them equally attractive, you know? You know has it become easier to self . . . I don’t know. I guess when you’re a kid, yeah, you say anything you want. I’m an adult. Now I don’t. I . . . I . . . I would say it’s not any different for a comedy writer or a writer in general than it is for anyone else. I . . . I think we are afforded more freedom. I think I don’t . . . I think writers and comedians don’t have to sensor as much, I think. You know we’re . . . we’re given that latitude. We don’t always use it that well, but we have it.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Transcript: That’s a dumb question.  Who would be the one person I would . . .  I  . . .  I really don’t know.  I . . .  There are a lot of people I’d like to talk to.  You . . .  You don’t . . .  There’s nobody I’d like to talk to that much.  Nobody’s leaping to mind. And you know also . . .  You know it’s . . .  It’s more than sitting down and actually being with that person.  It would be more interesting to sit down with, you know, Albert Einstein or Julius Caesar.  It’d be more actually fun to be in the room with that person than it would be to ask them any particular question.  Like there’s no . . .  So no.  I have nobody.  I . . .  There’s . . .  My grandfather.  I like my grandfather.  I wish he were alive, so that’s what I wish.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question: Collectively, what should we be doing?

Transcript: I don’t like collectivism, I just . . . I mean . . . I . . . I don’t think we should be doing anything collectively.  I think it’s just . . . it’s just sort of . . .  We have to, but I think it is kind of death to the human spirit.  I think we need . . .  Collectively, we have to . . .  See I’m . . . I’m so full of shit ‘cause I say it like I’m . . . “blah, blah”, but I don’t mean that at all.  We need collectively, though, to want to reassert our individual rights more; and collectively to tell government and everyone just to back off and just let me do my own thing.  That . . . that needs to be our goal.

Question: What should we stop doing?

Transcript: Stop smoking.  I  . . .  I . . .  It’s cool.  You know, it’s fun.  But we should stop that.  Stop trying to boss people around.  That’s not cool.  That’s just like . . . it’s really frustrating. 

Question: What are we doing right?

Transcript: I think we’re trying.  You know I think that’s right.  I think, you know, we are learning . . .  You know not that we’re learning, but we’re . . .  Up at MIT and Cal Tech, they’re learning every day stuff about the universe that no one has ever fathomed, you know?  I think we are . . .  We are making some very funny stuff to watch on TV . . . some very funny stuff.  I think we’re making some good music.  Maybe this just shows how decadent we are.  But I mean that’s . . .  You can . . .  That is a great part of humanity is that we make these things.  And that is what makes us better than monkeys, you know?  So if that is decadence, well fine.  Our decadence makes poetry.  That’s a good thing.

Question: If you had $100 billion to give away, how would you spend it?

Transcript: Oh that’s good.  I mean I . . . I . . .  I’m not . . . What would I do if I were Bill Gates, you know?  And I’m . . . I don’t . . . I’m not . . . I don’t know if he does enough.  You know if you really have that sort of infinite amount of money, I . . . I think I would build schools.  I think . . . I think . . . I think . . . I think you know my . . . my educational solution is . . . is . . . is a nice school, and every teacher should get $100,000 a year minimum.  And I think you’d get a lot of people who would teach.  You know I think there are a lot of smart people who are most comfortable in a school environment.  But if they thought, “Well I could make a good living doing this,” that’s what they would do.  That would be the first thing I would do is . . . is fund schools.  I’m . . . I’m sure I could   . . .  I’d give every teacher $200,000 salary a year and see what happens.  After that, you know, feeding people.  I also like dogs, so dog shelters.  You know, I’ve also thought like, you know, you have that kind of money, you could sort of make . . .  You could pay to make sort of picture-perfect, pornographic sort of versions of Disney cartoons would be funny, you know.  Or like . . . like a parody of Mad magazine circa 1977.  Like a fake issue, and that would look exactly like the real Mad magazine.  And you would weather it or whatever and just print up 1,000 copies.  And then just sort of sell them around bookstores around the country.  And it would just kind of blow people’s mind.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question:  Are you generally optimistic or pessimistic about the way the world is headed?

Transcript: I . . . I guess I’m pessimistic.  It’s . . . I don’t . . . It’s cliché to be a . . . a sad, funny guy.  Ha-ha.  You know so I’m not . . .  I wanna have kids.  You know I’m not that pessimistic.  I think we’ll be fine.  There’s . . . I think there’s a lot of good people working to make the world better.  It’s not just . . .  You’ve made me pessimistic in this conversation just sort of talking about all the crappy stuff.  But there are a lot of really smart, good people working out there to make the world a better place.  And you know inventions to clean this and to feed that.  And so . . . and to cure that disease.  So . . . and   . . . and . . . and you know let’s not fool ourselves.  The way we live is happier and more fulfilling than anyone has ever lived in the history of humanity.  I mean we just . . . I . . . I can . . . I can take a shower every morning.  It’s nice.  As much hot water as I want.  How dreamy is that, you know?  King Solomon, you know, would have . . . would have cut off his arm for such a luxury, you know?  And yet we can almost all do that.  So I . . . I . . . I do . . . We are . . .  Things are good, and they are getting better.  So I’m an optimist.  I take it back. 

Question: What will life look like in 30 years?

Transcript: I think it will be busier and more crowded.  I hope so, because the alternative is . . . means something horrible has happened.  I think we . . . we . . . we want busyness.  I think we need to . . . to reign ourselves in to a certain extent.  But you know as regards to our consumption and our population.  But that goes against everything that makes us human.  I’m not . . . I’m not quite sure if we’re gonna be able to make that fit.  And if . . . even if we do, I’ll be kind of sad that . . . that sort of the . . . that that part of . . . of human life is over.  But we’ll be . . . You know maybe it’ll . . . I hope maybe it’ll be like, you know, the Blade Runner world, or the studio screens everywhere, and ads.  We’re getting there. But I hope not.

Question: How will this age be remembered?

Transcript: I don’t know.  You . . . you think we’ll . . .  I . . . I hope, you know . . .  This isn’t the fall of Rome.  I hope it’s not the . . .  The historians aren’t going to say, “How could they have been so selfish, so self-serving?”  I suspect . . . I suspect we will be seen as selfish.  It’s . . .  We are so gluttonous in a way.  It doesn’t look good, especially, God forbid in a future era where people aren’t . . . can’t take showers every morning, you know?  And we’ll be seen as pigs.  But I hope not.  I hope we . . . we make it so that everyone can have a hot shower every morning, and a good breakfast, and a good school.  And then they’ll think of us as proud forebearers.  You know I  . . .  I . . .  We . . . I  . . . I don’t think they’re going to think of us like we think of the founding fathers of this country as sort of people who really put themselves on the line, and fought, and you know earned these rights, and you know, talked late in the night about big ideas.  They’re not gonna think of us like that.  You know, and it’s our fault.  We’re the . . . We’re the indulgent grand . . .  We’re the indulged grandchildren.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question: When you read the newspaper or watch the news, what issues stand out for you?

Transcript:     You know I read the sports section first.  I . . . I . . . I . . . I’m . . . I’m a bit cynical in the way of words, and . . . and I do not speak for people I work with.  And I say this as strictly me.  I sometimes feel like rooting for any political cause is, in a way, like rooting for a football team.  You have about as much affect on it, and whoever wins has about as much affect on the . . . whatever happens in the world, or at least in this country.  That’s strictly me speaking for me.  It may be I don’t always feel that way.  I . . . the . . .  The things that bother me about, say, the world today and . . . and politics today . . . and I . . . I can’t . . .  Maybe I would have thought the same 50 years ago.  I mean everybody thinks their age is the worst.  But I . . .  I hate being lied to, and I hate . . .  I feel like there  are so many cheap lies being thrown at us.  I think we are being . . .  I hate being treated like an idiot, and you know our government treats us like an idiot.  It treats us like a child.  And I . . .  I’m not saying, oh, this . . . this administration either.  I . . . I will never forgive Bill Clinton for lying to me.  He . . .  He took me for a chump.  He said, “I didn’t sleep . . .”  Just say you fucked . . .  Just say it.  But he really . . . okay he said it.  He said that sincerely.  Alright, I believe you.  Oh, you know, screw you.  He . . . he really . . . he lied to all of us.  And it . . . it’s like it’s not a big deal.  Yeah, it’s a big deal.  He really . . .  He took us all for chumps.  He thought, “Oh, I can lie to these people.”  And you know you don’t just do that once.  You do it in every occasion you can.  I hate being lied to.  I hate being . . . and . . .  And I think . . .  I think that’s related to the problem of the government treating us like we’re children.  And which, you know, I think they think we’re stupid.  And I think they think we’re children.  And I think we act like we’re children, you know, because we let them do that, you know?  It’s a give and take sort of thing.  But you know the more they treat us like children, the more we act like it, and the more they take away from us.  You know I’m an absolute, you know, freedom of this, freedom of that guy.  I’m . . . I’m very pro-gun.  You know I’m pro-school choice.  I’m crazy, you know?  But I just . . . I . . .  I think we need to be treated like adults.  I think we . . .  Americans, you know, we have these hard won liberties, and we really just sort of have to cling to them every chance we can get.  Because you know, they never get rid of laws.  Every law they write basically gets stuck on the books forever, and they all infringe on our rights in some way.  I mean I think in some ways we have to . . . it’s sort of our duty to fight every law that gets put on the books.  Yeah.  It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s hard not to feel a little trapped by if people lying to . . .  It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s almost . . . it’s also like you don’t feel like necessarily they’re doing it in your . . . your self-interest.  They’re . . . No it’s . . .  Okay.  Your mother drives you crazy when she, you know, tells you to tuck your shirt in, but you know she’s doing it because she loves you.  When our government tells me to tuck my shirt in, I don’t know why they’re doing it.  You know I think they’re just doing it to be bossy.  So that’s how I feel.

Question: What is the world’s biggest challenge in the coming decade?

Transcript:     Our biggest challenge . . .  We have so many challenges.  It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s all the people.  It’s . . . it’s . . . it’s so many people with so many things they care so passionately about.  And it’s . . .  I think we have a lot . . .  People expect us to make a transition from a . . . a . . . a very . . . of a sort of patchwork quilt world where, you know, people in Asia, and people in North America, and people in Europe all have these very distinct cultures, and beliefs, and religions.  And . . . and now because of how immediate the world is, and we are all in contact with each other, we’re somehow supposed to make these very different machines function together – you know these very different pieces of clockwork go together.  They’re not going to fit.  And also . . .  You know and it’s not just the different cultures.  It’s the cultures of . . . of, you know, the Bible that I revere – sort of this ancient religion – and then a modern world where, you know, there are . . . we somehow expect to be able to fit very old, cranky ideas into . . . into new modern, sleek packaging . . . into . . . into progressive, egalitarian  molds.  And they’re not going to fit, you know?  And I think . . .  One of the things I could say with religion, you have to go, “Okay well that’s crappy, but that’s part of it,” you know.  But you know I don’t know why I can’t eat bacon.  You know that’s it, you know?  And then there   . . . there are I, I think, much more ludicrous things with any religion too.  But I think the . . . the biggest problem is we’re somehow expecting . . .  The progressives among us, you know, expect us to make this great leap into a . . . a space-age where, you know, everyone is tolerant and this and that, and this and that; but we’ve got so much – I would call it baggage – of our previous cultures with us.  But I would call it baggage, but I think a lot of it’s really good.  That’s not going to get on that spaceship with us.  You know that’s gonna keep the spaceship grounded.  I . . . I . . . I . . . I don’t know how we’re going to make it all fit.

Question: What should be the big issues of the 2008 presidential election?

Transcript:     The war seems like an obvious choice.  I . . . I . . . In this country, I . . . and actually in the world, I don’t see how there can be any other real issue until it’s resolved.  You know, until we’ve won, or until the war is over, that’s our only issue.  There are . . . how best to win; how best to, you know, not just for us but for the world, you know.  But what do we have to do?  That’s . . . because people are dying every day because of this.  I think there are . . .  Second to that I’d say education in . . . in   . . . in a way for a similar reason because . . .  And it’s not going . . .  That’s not gonna be the second most important thing, but . . . but every day people are kind of dying because of our school system too.  That’s one of the things that aggravates me is everybody always talks about and complains about the problems with our school system.  And you know we do this and that, but nothing ever changes.  And nothing changes into sort of . . .  Right now, kids are in crappy schools, and nothing is gonna, you know . . . that’s not gonna change.  And . . . and that’s . . .  That’s like, as crazy as it is, I actually . . . I feel like let’s just do school __________ . . .  Let’s do something for like a mother who wants to send her kid to a good Catholic school.  You know let’s just let her do it right now until something better comes along.  Just . . .  It’s just so frustrating to me to think of all the kids in the shitty schools right now.  Yeah.  But the war, that’s gotta be it. Hopefully . . . hopefully the war will be over by 2008, you know?  And we’ll be able to concentrate on other things.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question:  What forces have shaped humanity most?

Transcript: Oh come on!  What forces have shaped humanity? I mean what kind of question is that?  That’s so insanely broad.  Where . . .  I guess it’s evident we’re . . . you know . . .  Hunger, boredom, sleepiness.  Those are the forces that have shaped humanity.  Boredom, that’s what gives me a job.  You know I’m here to keep you from being bored.  Yeah, you know it’s . . .  We’re monkeys, and we wanna have sex, and that’s a big force.  Also Catholic Church, a big force.  Also books.  You know, these are . . . I . . . I . . .  I can’t say.  Whatever.  It’s all . . . the clash of cultures.  Our base animal impulses are what have driven us forward.  And then our aspirations.  We are smart enough to think that we are better than just animals, and I think we are.  I think we do have souls.  And so . . . and so we do the base animal stuff, and then we make the cathedral because we have a higher self.

Question: What moments in history strike you as particularly funny?

Transcript: The Defenestration of Prague doesn’t make me laugh or anything.  There’s no historical moment that I thought like, “Wow.  That’s . . .”  I was just thinking.  There’s a funny . . . just like . . . there’s such weird shit out there, like . . . I did like . . . I was just reading about the other day that the guy who created . . .  The same guy created x-ray specs and sea monkeys, you know, from the back of the comic books – the same guy.  But he was also a big funder of . . . of Neo-Nazi causes.  So he was taking his sea monkey fortunes, and especially I think the Arian nations up there in _________.  Don’t quote me on that.  I’m not sure.  So okay.  And then also he was Jewish.  So you know it’s just . . . . . . it’s . . . it’s one of those . . . you know, so . . .  Of course he was ‘cause . . . but it’s just like . . .  There’s funny, crazy stuff out there.

Question: Are people fundamentally funny?

Transcript: You know religiously I wanna believe people are fundamentally good.  Yeah I think people . . . (a) I think people are fundamentally good; and (b) I think people are fundamentally humorous.  And . . . and people fundamentally want to laugh.  And you know if someone is not laughing, that’s the exception.  That’s perversion, because I think you can’t be turned from someone who likes to laugh to someone who doesn’t; but I think it’s almost impossible to go the other way.  I don’t think . . .  No one’s ever met a humorless person who became a funny one.

Question: Can humor be learned?

Transcript:  No.  It . . . it . . .  You can learn the forms or whatever, and maybe you could even learn the form so well that you can fool most people.  But you wouldn’t be able to fool the genuinely funny people.

Question: Can women be funny?

Transcript: Of course.

Question: Why do people value humor?

Transcript: Boredom, you know?  And I think also just the . . .  There’s such intense psychic pain just being alive, and all this stuff going on around you and on top of you.  And it’s suffocating.  You know humor is a release.  It is joyful, you know?  It’s like sex, but you can have it more often.  It’s . . .  Yeah, it’s like cheap sex.  It’s like . . .  You can do it all the time, so . . .

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question:  Do you have a personal philosophy?

Transcript: You know I had one, and then I started taking Prozac.  And now I really . . . I’m just bulling forward.  I’m just getting through day-by-day.  I don’t know.  I . . . I . . . I . . . You know that’s a joke, but I really am just bulling forward.  I really . . .  It’s . . . It is such an impossibly complicated and depressing world, that unless you just sort of keep your eye on the small things – keeping your wife happy; you know, doing a good job at work; going home and feeding the dogs – you will go crazy.  You know I guess looking back at some of the things I said . . .  Like I don’t think I’m making the world a better place, and I don’t think I’m contributing to anything.  So that’s really depressing.  That’s a very sad philosophy, but . . .  Okay, so maybe I’m making the world a little better place.  You know I’m making my wife happy, so . . . and I really like her, so that’s nice.  You know I’ve done something there.  And my . . . you know the dogs rely on me.  And so I’m doing . . .  I . . .  I don’t know.  I think . . . I guess my philosophy would be not to . . .  My philosophy is . . . is  . . . is the most important things you can do are for your family and for your friends.  I think everything else is kind of meaningless.  And if you devote yourself to a cause above your friends and family, you’re just kidding yourself.  I think everything . . . every government, every world is fleeting.  It’s   . . . it’s not going to last forever.  The only really permanent things in your life are your family and friends.  You know the lowest circle in hell was for Brutus because he betrayed his friend.  And he did it for his country, but you know screw your country.  Because Rome is gone now, but Cesar has always betrayed.  So I think yeah.  I think you can really only, in a way, care about . . . and do good.  And hopefully your friends are good people, and your family is good people.  But you can really just try to make the world a better place for them and that’s it.

Question: Do religion and faith inform your worldview?

Transcript:  It does, but I mean I’m terribly conflicted.  I mean awfully . . .  You know I . . .  In a way I can’t help but believe in God despite all the evidence to the contrary, which makes me very angry at God.  And so I . . .  I’m . . .  In a way I’m always fighting it.  But you know, and again, 200 years ago it would be very easy to be a religious person, and to live my whole life, and that was that.  And it . . . and it   . . . and it . . . I think it would be blissful.  I think it’s much harder for all of us to live today.  You know the world is too much with us.  That said, I . . .  You know I don’t say “that said” as much as I say it . . . as I said it in the past half hour.  I’m saying it “that said”, I . . . I think if there is a God, I think He’d be rather forgiving of anyone’s lack of faith right now.  It’s, you know, much easier to believe in God when you believe the sun goes around the earth, and we’re . . . it’s flat, and you know that the Bible is literal historical truth.  It becomes . . .  When you know those things aren’t necessarily the case, it becomes harder to believe.  It may be God chose us now, to live now because our faith deserves to be tested a little bit more.  I don’t know.  I think that’s bullshit.  But I . . . You know I think God is probably charitable enough to go, “Well you didn’t believe.  Why should you?”

Question: Why do you persist in believing?

Transcript: I can’t help myself.  I think atheism’s really easy.  I think it’s very easy not to believe in God.  I think all that evidence in front of you, I think it’s . . .  And so . . .  I think it’s a little cheap, I guess, for that reason.  I think I guess I didn’t come here with the defense of . . . of belief, you know, in my back pocket.  Maybe . . . maybe it’s sheer perversity.  You know maybe I believe in God because it seems so obvious He doesn’t exist.  And also I want an old school, but I don’t want some sort of artsy fartsy, “We’re all love, we’re all part of God” blobbety boobety.  You know I want an Old Testament God.  I want a God throwing thunderbolts.  And I want . . .  I want punishment.  I want my . . . I . . .  I see no problem with an eye for an eye.  I really don’t.  Like that’s all cool, you know?  I don’t want tree spirits or anything, or . . . or . . . or mother goddesses, or you know.  Forget it.  What’s the point of that?

Question: What is the measure of a good life?

Transcript: I don’t . . .  I have a horrible cartoon I want to make.  There’s the people standing in line at St. Peter’s gate to go to heaven.  And you know the rich men, the poor widows, and St. Peter’s asking them, “How much money did you make?” And that . . . and then the poor people are going to hell.  See that’s my horrible cartoon.  You know and that’s like . . . should not be the measure of a good life.  My . . .  I think . . .  I think it’s being true to your . . .  I . . .  I really think it’s being true to your family and friends; to whatever world you’ve created around yourself – the real world with who are the people you care about.  It’s not . . .  I don’t think . . .  I think you can try to make the world a better place, but I think too many people I see doing that become, you know, Mrs. __________.  And they just . . .  They throw themselves into that and screw over the people who are actually around them.  I think causes are nice, but I your greatest cause needs to be your immediate circle.

Recorded on: 9/4/07

Question:  Do you have a creative process?

Transcript: It’s just . . .  It’s just sitting down and writing.  That’s my creative process.  I like, you know . . .  Sitting around and making jokes with people is nice too, but you know it . . . it’s . . . when you’re . . . when you are . . .  When you’re a writer and you’re working, you are . . . it’s . . . you’re not really an artist.  You’re a craftsman.  You know you sit down at your table, and you do your eight hours and you’re out.  And it’s great, and hopefully you’ve done something wonderful.  But when you’re not feeling funny, you still have to write something funny.  So that’s really my process.  I’ve . . .  I’ve got a nice chair that a like, and a computer that I’ve set up exactly like I like it, and have a lot of coffee.  And I quit smoking, but I used to, you know, smoke a lot of cigarettes.  And I just sort of . . . you just crank through it.

Question: Is it hard to be funny on deadline?

Transcript: You get used to it.  It’s really . . .  You’re just . . . It’s just a job.  You know it’s . . . Is it hard to get all the chocolates in the box on deadline?  That’s just what you do.

Question: How do you get past writer’s block?

Transcript: That’s a good question.  I mean yeah.  I can say I’m a craftsman; but then again you indulge in block.  I mean that’s just an indulgence.  You really just have to . . . to push through that.  I don’t know.  I’ll go walk the dog.  I used to have a cigarette.  I can’t do that anymore, so I’ll drink more coffee.  I’ll curse myself.  You know, just start typing something, anything, and you generally get through it.  I . . . I . . . I . . . Blocks are generally just laziness.

Question: Where do you look for comic inspiration?

Transcript: I have favorite . . . I . . . I certainly was a fan of Mad magazine growing up, especially the Mad comics – the Harvey Kurtzman ones before it became a magazine.  Like you know I had the little re-print digest of those when I was a kid.  And I didn’t know what they were, the history or whatever; but they were so funny and weird.  And I . . . I would say of anything, like those were my biggest, say, comedic influences.  I’d . . . I’d reread those stories over and over again and . . . and sort of scour the background jokes – all the crazy background jokes.  I . . .  You know, I think Animal House is a nearly perfect movie.  It has an incredibly . . . it . . .  It’s like 98 percent of its jokes are successful, you know what I mean?  It’s a perfectly pleasant movie to watch, and with a lot of funny jokes.

Recorded on: 9/4/07