Transcript: I chose to become a rabbi because of one person who influenced me, believe it or not.  Well first and foremost my mother influenced me.  My mother is an incredibly courageous woman who raised five kids on her own.  You never forget that kind of sacrifice.  You never forget that kind of selflessness.  I remember one night, for example, that at the height . . . in the throws of a bad marriage, sort of the last death throws of her marriage, my mother took us driving somewhere in a new car that her parents had bought for her.  It was a red Chevy station wagon.  And there was a hurricane outside.  It was raining so bad.  You had to swim.  The car is sitting there treading water, and the car broke done.  It was always breaking down, this car.  And I’ll never forget this.  My mother made us stay inside so we wouldn’t get wet.  And she sat there putting her hand into the hood trying to open it, and she cut her hand open.  And then she gave up on the car, and she was gonna flag another car in this torrential downpour, and she still wouldn’t let us get out of the car.  We were just little kids.  She just didn’t want us to get wet.  Little vignettes like that were, you know . . . that’s my mother’s essence.  She’s alive, thank God.  She’s about 65.  So she was the first one to influence me.  She became a model of true selflessness, goodness, kindness, compassion, devotion, commitment, and she’s been my hero ‘til today. 

My father is a much more stronger, sturdier kind of personality.  He was a bit emotionally detached because he didn’t have an easy life.  He grew up in poverty stricken Iran – a Jewish family in Iran there.  With the Muslim majority, you weren’t always treated like you were welcome or wanted.  So I think he steeled himself against that.  So it was more difficult for me to reach him, but I did learn to respect and to be inspired by his perseverance, his tenacity.  He came as an immigrant to this country barely speaking the language.  And just the determination that he showed – he built up a business.  He, you know . . .  Amidst several setbacks on the way he never gave up.  So I learned tenacity from him.

there was this one rabbinical student who took an interest in me.  I don’t know, he saw something in me.  First of all my parents divorced.  My father wasn’t around.  Again, this is at a time when in Orthodox Jewish families, divorce was really rare.  So I didn’t have a father around.  Everyone else did.  And he became a surrogate father figure to me even though he was only four years older than me.  He studied with me.  He walked with me.  He spoke to me.  He visited me.  It is only because of him that I became a Rabbi.  He gave me my passion for Judaism.  He gave me my passion for social service.  He gave me my passion for commitment to social change.  He gave me my love of studying the Torah and studying Jewish texts.  And it was because of him at the age of 14 I decided . . .  I took a very radical step.  I got up from Miami, left my family to go to a rabbinical seminary at the age of 14.  

I see myself as an exponent of values.  That’s how I most see myself.  I . . .  My passion is to make the world better by getting people to make choices based on values – on important values.  Some people feed the hungry and clothe the naked and they’re great people – much greater than I am – but my contribution to the world is to get people to think in terms of values so that the decisions they make . . . the choices that they make, which will ultimately determine their character, their lives, what they become, what they do . . . those choices are based on something that’s grounded in eternity.  Not ephemeral choices, not things that are about immediate gratification of the senses, but . . . not what we want, but what we really, really want.  And here I am quoting the Spice Girls.  That’s pretty sad.  So something that caters to our innermost will.  And I promote those values through a variety of mediums.  Lectures to audiences is one.  Books is another.  I’ve authored 19 books now, thank God, on a variety of issues, mostly about human relationships because I think that’s the essence of values – how we relate to people, whether we keep our families intact, how we raise our children, the monogamy and passion we show to our wives and to our husbands.  I also am a television host.  I host a show called “Shalom in the Home”.  I’m, I guess, a regular television commentator on political, social, relationship and religious issues.  But everything I do comes under that rubric of values because I’m a rabbi.  I mean I am a rabbi.  That’s what I am.  I make no apologies for being a rabbi, meaning even when it suited my purposes to maybe drop the title to be more accessible to a mainstream, non-Jewish American public – Jews are 2% of the American population – I never . . .  Not only did I never think of dropping the title, I never thought of not using the title.  My books are “Rabbi Shmuley”.  On television on “Shalom in the Home” on TLC, I’m Rabbi Shmuley.  If I’m a guest on FOX News, or CNN, or MSNBC, or the “Today Show”, I’m Rabbi Shmuley.  On Oprah, I’m Rabbi Shmuley.  I’m very proud of being a rabbi because a rabbi is a teacher.   A rabbi teaches people values.  So that’s what I do.  

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: If I had $100 billion to give away, the first thing I would do is take a sizeable chunk – let’s say $10 billion – and make marital counseling free in the United States. Because I think a lot of couples, had they had counseling – they can’t afford it – they’d still be together. Then I would take another $10 billion or $20 billion and I would launch a global education force among the warring world religions to really come together. Jews and Muslims; Protestants and Catholics, which isn’t as bad anymore; but certainly in the Middle East. I would somehow create an effective educational campaign to bring people together to finally rid war from this earth. I would then take another $10 billion and I would dedicate it to an anti-genocide fund, educating people about genocides that are going on anywhere in the world, and inspiring the UN and world governments to do something about it. I would spend $10 billion on an educational fund for women, teaching women about the real values of feminine pride, feminine dignity, of not being a man’s eye candy, of not living for male attention but living from within and the attention will come in a positive way. And I . . . I don’t know what I’m left with right now, but I would give 20% of it – $20 billion – to the state of Israel, and to its institutions and its framework. Israel is the only democracy in the Middle East. It’s the Jewish homeland. It is fighting an existential battle for its existence. I would give it to the brave soldiers who defend it. I would give it . . . Israel has a million Arab citizens. I would improve their lives as well, God willing, to show them that they are absolutely welcome, and loved, and appreciated in the Jewish state. Just because it’s a Jewish state doesn’t mean that they’re not equal in every single way. And I would do my best to strengthen Israel because I fear for its existence. I fear for its continuity. And I love it and respect it. I respect its achievements. I respect the fact that it has created so much freedom and liberty in a region that just doesn’t have it.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: I think that our age will be remembered positively; that we were an age that, amidst having severe shortcomings – materialistic, broken families – that we still wanted to do the right thing; that we still focused on really good things; that we weren’t always of pure heart, and we weren’t always perfect, but our heart was in the right place; that we had the right ideas, and we tried to do the right thing and do good things.  Look, the biggest TV host in the world is Oprah Winfrey.  Look at all the good stuff she does with her show, you know?  I watched a whole show last night about charity.  Who would have thought the biggest show in the world would talk about things like charity?  Does that mean that we don’t also talk about bras, and lingerie, and great sex?  Yeah we do.  And great sex in marriage, by the way, is a good thing, so talk more about it.  But we get distracted, and we talk about silly celebrity gossip stuff.  But by and large we’re good people with good hearts who wanna do the right thing.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: Like I said I’m a child of divorce. I’ve spent my whole life trying to fight divorce and strengthen the bond between husband and wife. And I don’t know if we’re making a lot of progress there. Gosh. America is just a littered landscape of broken marriages, broken relationships. It’s really sad. We’re becoming a very lonely country. New York Times reported 51% of all women now live alone. I mean those are frightening statistics – that 51% of women now say that they’d rather be on their own than with a man, that means they’re really giving up on love. They’re just, you know, “I’ll live my own life. I mean I’ve tried this. It hasn’t worked out. I’ve only gotten heartache from relationships.”

Let’s say a couple hasn’t made love in a year, which is very common. One out of three American couples are platonic. So most people would tell you, “Oh go to a hotel for the weekend. Buy sexy lingerie.” Well what if you’re not even motivated to do that? Or what if that’s just going through the motions? I mean what I do is I look at the erotic mind. Why . . . How could a man be in bed with a naked woman who is his wife and not feel excited? What changed in his mind, in his view, in his perception of her? And if we could alter it back to its original conditions, we could restore the attractions even if they never go to a hotel.

I was counseling a husband and wife, and I said to this wife, “Be nice to your husband. Speak to him respectfully,” because she always yells at him and puts him down. And she says, “No way. I’m not gonna do that until he treats me better.” I said to her, “Well aside from the fact that if you’re both gonna wait for the other to start, this marriage is going to disintegrate,” I said, “Are you telling me you’ll only do the right thing if someone gives you an incentive? Aren’t you supposed to do the right thing no matter what, even if it has no impact? Even if he doesn’t deserve it? It’s not for him! It’s for you! You want to be a good person, don’t you? You’re not becoming good for him. Don’t let him make you into a person that you don’t wanna be.”

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: You know I closely follow the presidential race. I’m someone who is impressed and inspired by authenticity. So I’m looking for the candidates who are just real. They may be flawed as all hell, but I would prefer a flawed, real person than a fake, perfect person. So I’m . . . You know I’m not saying who that is. Everyone will make their own determination. Who am I as an accurate weathervane for authenticity? But we all have some sort of truth detector in us, and I’m trying to apply it as I read about the different candidates because I like . . . Because I think that if presidents are real and genuine, then they will make the right decisions. And they will correct themselves if they’ve made the wrong decisions. They’ll have the humility because they’re not afraid of being real. Real people make mistakes and they say they’re sorry. And they change course.

I’m very disappointed that there aren’t candidates who are as of yet focused on serious social issues – not gay marriage and abortion, but divorce, the state of the youth, the incredible . . . things like teen sexuality, teen suicide, depression. One out of three doctors ________ American woman _________ an anti-depressant. One out of three. Forty percent of American men have reported depression. The New York Times reported – I kid you not – that one out of 10 university students has made a plan for suicide. One out of 10. Well when you have 10% of the student population wanting to kill themselves, and you’re the richest, most prosperous country in the history of the world, there’s something wrong. The presidential candidates never talk about this.

I was in Ireland just last week, and Mary McAleese who is the female president of Ireland – second woman president, quite amazing – she gave this incredible speech you just have to respect. She gave a speech against binge drinking, and saying how much it’s destroying the youth and leading to depression and suicide. Now one would normally say, “Hey, you’re the president. What the hell are you talking about? Talk to us about taxes. Talk to us about NATO. What are you talking about binge drinking?” But that’s what leadership should also be. I’m disappointed that our candidates don’t talk more about that.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

For me the big story is, of course, the war in Iraq . . . but not because of how other people see it – should we be there, should we not be there. The war in Iraq was, in my opinion, an altruistic attempt on the part of one nation – not that America didn’t have selfish ambitions as well. Of course they did. But ultimately the altruism was more important than that; that we’re this great nation. We saw this guy who just slaughtered people __________, and we just . . . You know you get embarrassed after a while doing nothing. He gassed children. He gassed whole communities, killed tens of thousands of people. The New York Times said he killed 1.1 million people. That’s the New York Times who didn’t even support the war. But the war wasn’t fought well, and then it became a quagmire. So people started saying, “You know what? No more of these foreign adventures.” America might will remain at home. Well that’s a bit sad because that’s the way it used to be. You know Rwanda – 800,000 Africans killed. America did nothing. ___________, Kosovo. Kosovo we finally intervened, but you know in the . . . They were ___________, and there was the massacre of the Armenians. America did nothing. The First World War. You know we are responsible for our brothers’ lives. I don’t know that we could stop every genocide, but we gotta stop a couple here and there. And America is the richest, most powerful country in the world, and that confers upon us certain responsibilities. I fear that because Iraq has not panned out well as of yet – and maybe it will and maybe it won’t – that most Americans are gonna say, “Forget it. I don’t even wanna hear it.” And then we’re gonna hear about . . . What happens if Darfur gets worse? What happens if they start slaughtering every man, woman and child in the Darfur region of Sudan? Are we Americans gonna say, “Sorry. Not our problem.” Well you know that’s sad. So the war in Iraq has been a turning point because we try to do this very altruistic thing. And because it didn’t work out so well, we became disillusioned very quickly.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: Judaism is a phenomenal force that has shaped world history, primarily with its belief in vertical history. So many world religions . . . ancient religions were cyclical. They believed that nothing really changes. Things just go round and round, so why improve the earth? Everything you build will be destroyed. History produces in cycles. Judaism said there are no cycles. History is vertical. That which you build will remain, and it will get better. And if you cure disease, etc., it will prolong life. And if you cure famine, you will . . . You’ll ultimately conquer famine. So that was a very important belief.

But I think that a lot of negative things have also influenced history. I think raw, untempered masculinity has adversely affected our world. I think that men are best influenced by women. I think it’s the reason why marriage is so special and love is so special, because aside from all the other benefits, you get the tempering of raw masculinity. Men are exciting people. They have energy. They have drive. But unchecked, they become power hungry. They become egotistical. History has been shaped by meaningless, senseless, stupid wars fought by men for thousands of years slaughtering each other . . . to get a little award on their lapel? I mean that’s crazy to spend your life killing people so that you could be called a “General” or something like that. But men have done stupid things like that, and that has really shaped world history. I think that we haven’t really had a feminine influence, or a sufficiently influential feminine influence. Now we’re beginning to see, with women demanding rights, a world, I think, that hungers for peace a bit more. The truly raw, old, masculine figures – these untempered, rough at the edges . . . like Saddam Hussein – they’re being repudiated now.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: I think a good life is first one that is balanced. The great Jewish philosopher Mimonadese and Aristotle said it as well. They advocated the golden middle path to really find balance. I believe . . . I’m a very committed family man, but I also believe people have to have careers . . . absolutely, and feel professionally accomplished. You have to find balance. I believe we’re individuals, but we’re also part of larger communities – a larger whole. And finding the balance between the two is very important.

For me the good life is a life of illumination and a life of enlightenment. It’s where we transcend our material desires, and we just live for acquisition, and the impulse purchase. And we really . . . we love reading. We love engaging in intelligent discussion, and we gain self-knowledge. Not just self-mastery, but self-knowledge. And we really begin to understand ourselves because we’re enlightened about the human condition and about human nature.

I think the good life is a relationship with God and a healthy spiritual anchor; feeling a proximity to God. Not just using God as a furry rabbit’s foot. Not just using God in some sort of superstitious context, but to use God in a relationship context – that we’re close to God and we try to bring Him into our lives. And that sometimes means we’ll have to complain against God. Sometime we feel like God is unjust, and that’s okay. It’s part of an honest relationship. I don’t believe that total submission is an honest relationship

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: Yes I definitely do. I believe in humility. I believe that humility is the greatest virtue. I believe no matter who you are or what you’ve accomplished, if you’ve lost the ability to relate to everyone; if you start thinking of yourself as the important person, and you relate only to the important people, and they are the circle in which you revolve, you’ve become fundamentally corrupt and you’ve compromised your humanity.

I believe that we’re placed on God’s earth to do small acts of kindness for each other. And they may never be written about in some great novel; and they may never had an equestrian statute erected to honor their legacy; and there may never be 21 gun . . . a 21 gun salute for this little act of kindness you did, but it’s the little acts of kindness that define our character more than anything else. Yes the big things are also very important. And the big, rich guy who gives billions of dollars to charity, yeah he’s amazing. But will determine the kind of person he is is how he speaks to the people he works with; how he treats his wife; how he speaks to his butler, his chauffeur, etc. If he treats them as equals . . . They work for him, fair enough; but they’re still equal human beings.

I believe that . . . One of my great personal philosophies in life is that I must enjoy, given my own family circumstances – a child of divorce – that I dare not allow dysfunction to become a family heirloom. I dare not transmit to my children my insecurities, my inner chaos, my inner turmoil; but if I heal myself, I will also heal my children.

Finally I believe in admitting mistakes. I believe that even though the world will pummel you for your honesty, ‘cause it will these days . . . The president, the prime minister, an author, anyone comes ________ and says, “I made a big mistake.” People say, “Oh, now you say it! Oh sure, after you . . .” That’s a shame. It’s the reason we don’t say sorry. We think that it’s not gonna help if we say sorry. “It’s gonna make the situation worse.” But I believe in saying sorry. I believe in taking responsibility for actions.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: Well religion has a very bright future in the United States – very bright.  America is becoming more and more religious.  In fact when we speak about, you know, Americans are from Mars and Europeans are from Venus – this incredible cultural divide between the two continents – it’s really a religious divide more than anything else.  Europe was once the most religious place, and now it’s utterly secular.  Religion has been repudiated.  The churches are empty.  But America is becoming more and more religious, and it’s America’s religious convictions that are dictating the political discourse.  I mean let’s face it.  You have a devoutly Christian president who believes strongly . . . He believes . . . and I think he believes authentically in human freedoms.  He goes to Iraq because he sees these tyrants slaughtering his people.  He’s not just going to turn a blind eye.  So religion is having a huge impact on the direction America is going.  And I think that will continue and I think it will be positive.  However, the underbelly of religion . . . the dark side can also grow, and that’s worrying me.  And we have to nip it in the bud. 

See there’s two kinds of religion.  One is religion is an “all or nothing” sum game.  Either you’re religious or not.  If you’re gay, to hell with you.  If you’ve had an abortion, to hell with you.  You don’t believe what I believe?  To hell with you.  Well that’s pretty damn intolerant, and that’s an abomination before God.  The other kind of religion is where you say religion is a collection of ideas, and principles, and practices to make us into godly people.  And even if you don’t keep all of them, well keep some of them.  So you may be doing things that I don’t believe in because of my religion, but you’re doing other things that I can really respect and applaud.  That’s not what we’re hearing in America today.  We’re hearing, “Because you are X, therefore I have to reject you and your entire . . . reject you in your entirety.”  If we can get away from that, the future of religion will be not only bright in America, but it will really illuminate so many people’s lives, even the lives of many secular people.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: What I stand for more than anything else is bringing values to relationships and families; to make sex and to have passion in an intimate experience; to get men to really respect and value women through their faithfulness, through their ability to please a woman.

We’ve barely made a dent in the divorce rate in the United States. We continue to talk about, you know . . . So many of my religious friends tell me, “Oh, gay marriage . . . These gays are gonna ruin heterosexual marriage.” And I say to them, “Oh don’t worry about that. There’s nothing left to ruin. We straight people have done a fine job of destroying marriage already.”

So if I were to really assess the wider impact of my work, well the negative statistics speak for themselves. I write constantly about how women should value themselves. I . . . When I go out with my wife on a Saturday night, and I see it’s cold in New York City, and the guys are wearing jackets but the women are dressed for the beach . . . Everything is hanging out. And clearly they’re not dressing for themselves because if the guys weren’t around they’d probably put on something warm. They’re dressing for others. It’s like you’re 16, you’re 17 and you’ve already lost your own identity? You’re already thinking in terms of, “How will I get and sustain male attention?” I write about these subjects all the time. And the backlash to these subjects . . . “Oh, you’re just trying to put women back into the kitchen.” And that couldn’t be farther from the truth. I wanna truly liberate female potential. I love women who are presidents, prime ministers, doctors, lawyers. The ones who I want to change are those who don’t make those choices. It’s the ones who choose to be strippers, or who go into abusive relationships with men. But that’s not a popular message right now. The message is, “Women are free. They can do whatever they want.” If they wanna wear a thong to school, then that’s part of the freedom. Freedom is not the freedom to serve as masturbatory material for men. That’s not freedom; that’s slavery. That’s sexual slavery.

One of my central life philosophies is that men must honor women; that God gave me this wife who is a very special soul. My wife is a unique, unique person. And I always want to live up to being an honorable husband who really appreciates her. Being an insecure person, I’m often very distracted by work. I wanna prove myself through my work, and my wife can feel neglected at those times. I’m traveling. I’m writing. I never wanna forget that my first achievement in life must be her happiness; that a great man is a man whose wife is smiling; is a man whose wife is happy, and not the guy who’s got a lot of money. I know too many men who have a lot of money in the bank and their wives are on Prozac. And I don’t wanna be one of those men, God forbid.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: Well aside from being a television show, which everyone should watch . . . turn me off right now and watch “Shalom in the Home”.  No, since you’re watching me, it’s okay.  Turn someone else off and watch “Shalom in the Home”.  Aside from it being a TV show, “Shalom in the Home” is a belief that our homes can be peaceful.  It’s a belief that homes don’t have to be warzones.  It’s a belief that there need not be a generation gap, a gender gap; that husbands and wives can really have deep intimacy, and they can be forged together as bone of one bone and flesh of one flesh; that you don’t have to be lonely, even when you’re married.  “Shalom in the Home” is a belief that just because kids are younger than us and they go through their stages, it doesn’t mean their parents can’t connect with them; that parents can’t empathize with them; that parents can’t step out of the limitations of their own experience and enter their children’s shoes to really see it from their perspective, to really listen to their kids.  “Shalom in the Home” means that while the rest of the world might be a place of conflict, your home can be a bastion of tranquility.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: There are a lot of religious people who are just not spiritual. They are . . . They keep every tenet of their faith, but it has not refined their character. It has not made them more open and more compassionate. It’s actually made them more harsher, more condemnatory. Damning others becomes the highest article of faith. That’s where we have to move far away from. I’m a deeply religious man. My Judaism is the core of my existence, and yet it has never been limiting for me. With me, it really isn’t just a cliché to say some of my best friends are not Jewish. Some of my best friends . . . Probably the majority of my closest friends are not Jewish. (Laughter) I have black friends, white friends, gay friends, Islamic friends because I think that the highest . . . the best model of a religious individual is what the Bible says in the book of Deuteronomy, which is that we should be a tree of the field. What is a tree? Well it’s rooted in its soil. It’s rooted in its tradition, but its branches grow out into the rest of the world and it oxygenates the planet. It takes from its roots and its soil and it gives something to a . . . to a greater whole, a wider good. But you have a lot of religious people who aren’t trees. They’re potatoes and turnips. They remain firmly grounded and limited by their soil. They don’t wanna connect with people of a different faith, or people of no faith. That’s where religion goes astray.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: We’ve barely made a dent in the divorce rate in the United States. We continue to talk about, you know . . . So many of my religious friends tell me, “Oh, gay marriage . . . These gays are gonna ruin heterosexual marriage.” And I say to them, “Oh don’t worry about that. There’s nothing left to ruin. We straight people have done a fine job of destroying marriage already.”

I know that religion needs rules, because without rules religion becomes a mockery; but the love and the rules have to co-exist. So for example here in the United States, the two great religious battlegrounds have been abortion and have been gay marriage. There are so many ways to make those issues inclusive without religion compromising its stance. For example, you can tell gay men and women that because the Bible says that homosexuality is unacceptable that we can’t necessarily condone homosexuality. Having said that we love you. You’re equally God’s child, and there are so many other virtues that you have that we probably don’t have. Come to church and pray. We love you. Come to synagogue and pray. No one’s going to judge you by your lesbianism. We’re not even going to talk about it. Instead we say, “If you’re gay, should you be coming to church?” That’s terrible. I mean that’s terrible to exclude people based on any kind of choice like that. Or abortion. Why have we made abortion into such a profoundly divisive issue which is a debate on the origin of life? We really should have made it an inclusive issue, which is a debate about feminine dignity. Ninety-nine percent of all abortions are women who are bedded by men who don’t love them, who impregnate them, and then shedding any kind of responsibility, just leave them by themselves. That’s not a religious issue; that’s an issue of social responsibility. Radical left-wing feminists and right-wing Catholics should be on the same page about this one. Again not about abortion, but in telling women don’t let men take advantage of you. Value yourself. Go into a relationship where you demand and expect real intimacy, real love, and real commitment.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: Well religion, I think, is in crisis. Not that that’s anything . . . I mean religion is probably always been in a crisis. But the crisis comes from the fact that we see extremes in religion. We don’t see that good, healthy balance where religion is nurturing. We either see extremes of terrorism and murder in the name of God. Or we see in the United States, where thank God this is a very religious country, but we see religion being politicized. I would . . . I believe that religion is unifying; that religion is supposed to bring man and God closer together, and man and his fellow man closer together ‘cause we’re all equally God’s children. I’m not sure that we’re there yet. I think religion remains divisive. That doesn’t mean religion isn’t profoundly helpful and virtuous, and so many people lead beautiful lives because they’re religious. There are so many people who are more devoted fathers, parents; they’re more charitable; they adopt orphans; they feed the hungry because of their spiritual beliefs. But they also can sometimes use their spiritual beliefs to define an outsider – you know, who’s not part of our faith; who is not going to heaven the way I am. Or those darn gays who are destroying our society.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript:  Well you know if I were to answer the question of what are the fundamental tenets of the Jewish faith, we could be here for 3,300 years because that’s how long the Jews have been here.  That’s a long time.  And there’s so many ways to approach it, but I would say the following.

Number one, as strange as it may sound, Judaism believes in the superiority of the feminine over the masculine.  Meaning the world . . .  The ancient world was a very masculine world.  It was a masculine, aggressive world.  It was about fighting, and emperors, and warriors, and who was special . . . . someone who triumphed over his fellow man.  Along came Judaism that said first and foremost, we’re supposed . . . there’s equality between all people.  We’re all equally God’s children.  It’s he who can get along with his fellow man in a much more feminine way; in an open way; in a way where there’s an emotional bond instead of one of the master-slave relationship.  “Who’s really special?”  Judaism also said that peace was superior to war.  Again, the triumph of more feminine over masculine values.  I mean for thousands of years, wives have been saying to their husbands, “You have healthy kids.”  You know, “Why are you so depressed that you don’t have more money, that you’re not successful in the battlegrounds of the markets?”  And men have continued to define themselves by what they earn, by what they conquer, that hunter-gatherer mentality.  Judaism says, on the contrary, that real life is about virtue.  It’s about connection.  It’s about family.  It’s about bonding.

Another very important tenet of the Jewish faith is the belief that we can make the world better.  You know so many other religions are about making . . . about getting into heaven.  They’re about achieving personal salvation.  If you believe in Jesus, you’re going to heaven.  If you’re . . .  Many Muslims believe if they do X, Y, and Z they’re going to get into heaven.  I’m sure they’re right, and God bless them.  I hope to meet them in heaven.  Or maybe they’ll at least visit me in hell; but Judaism doesn’t ask questions like that.  We really don’t care where we’re going. 

And virtually everything about Judaism is making this world better, whether it’s the kosher laws . . .  You know God allows us to take animal life in order to sustain ourselves.  You know we need protein, etc., but God says you must do this in the most humane possible way.  Kosher meat is slaughtered in a way that causes no pain to the animal.  Kosher animals are all herbivores.  They’re not omnivores.  They’re . . . they’re animals that have split hoofs and chew their cud, meaning they don’t have paws.  They’re not predators.  They can’t chase other animals.  Everything that we do we try to bring peace into what we’re doing.  That’s what the idea of the Sabbath is, another fundamental tenet of the Jewish faith.  We don’t work on the Sabbath.  I mean there has to be some peace in your life.  For six days of the week we master our environment.  And for one of those . . . on the seventh day we allow the environment to master us, as it were.  We become one with the universe.  We don’t just seek to exploit, to conquer, to destroy.  We seek to be at peace, to be at rest, and to connect.

Prayer is a fundamental tenet of the Jewish faith . . . brining God into your life.  I mean after all, the centerpiece of Judaism is God.  The greatest Jewish contribution to the world is God.  Prior to Judaism there was Paganism.  And there were many gods, and there were . . .  The gods were even a bit silly.  They fornicated.  They had kids.  They came in different guises.  They seduced women.  I mean would you worship someone like that?  Go to a nightclub.  You’d find plenty of gods like that.  But the Jews gave the world this idea of a disembodied God who was equally the God of men and women because he wasn’t just male and he wasn’t female.  He wasn’t _________.  He wasn’t Aphrodite.  God had no gender.  God had no race.  He was equally the God . . .  He had no ethnicity. 

 Another fundamental idea of the Jewish faith, which was it’s those things in life which you cannot hold, which you cannot see, which you cannot smell – those things that are intangible – that are actually the most precious, like love.  No one’s ever seen love.  No one’s ever touched love.  I mean one of the fundamental rules of our society is specifically those things that are hard that you can own, like property, money, cars that are valuable; but Judaism says it’s God, and love, and virtue.  Those are the things that are the most special.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: It’s all a part-time job because I’m also the father of eight children. You’re the father of eight kids, that takes a lot of time. And if you wanna do it right, it takes a lot of time. And I wanna do it right. You know Jackie Kennedy said you can succeed at many things in life. You fail with your kids you have failed at life period. I wanna prosper with my children. I wanna succeed with my kids. I don’t want my kids to have my insecurities. I’m a man who has been riddled with insecurity throughout his life. And no doubt that is partially a function of having been raised in a home where my parents fought a lot and ultimately divorced. Parents who are fighting, they love their kids as much as any other parent, perhaps even more. Sometimes they actually are more emotionally dependent on their kids, which is their only source of emotional sustenance. But they’re fighting so much they’re licking their own wounds. They often are too wounded to give that affection and love. I mean that’s the problem with bad marriages. If I’m not just giving them quality time, which I think is an erroneous concept, but quantity time. Quantity time means you can talk all you want.

“Oh five minutes I spent with you. Great! And it was five uninterrupted minutes. Fantastic!” That’s B.S. You gotta be there every single night, virtually, with your kids having dinner. You gotta put them to bed. You gotta read them a bed time story. You gotta do their homework no matter how much you hate it, and I hate homework. But if you don’t . . . But doing this is what make your kids feel valuable.

Recorded on: 9/5/07

Transcript: My name is Rabbi Shmuley Boteach. I was born in L.A., but I was raised in Miami Beach. Of course it shaped me. First of all they are both beautiful places. It was sunny. It was . . . So I learned to be a bit of an extrovert, outdoorsy. I never lost my love of nature. I don’t like being indoors. I’m gonna . . . I’m about to rage and thunder against this studio. We should be doing this in a park. I was also raised in close-knit, religious, Jewish communities – Orthodox communities, which was basically good but it had a negative side. My parents divorced when I was young, and that was very uncommon in 1970s Los Angeles. And that made us a bit different, I guess. I also think that Los Angeles and Miami are big cities. Maybe it addicted me a bit too much to civilization, because I really wish I could just move to some little village somewhere and have a cow, raise hogs, and I haven’t done that yet. So maybe . . . maybe concrete has entered my system a bit too much. But I also love camping and going to the outdoors, so maybe it’s an escape from that kind of confining civilization.

Recorded on: 9/5/07